Background Part 1 of 4 - The Oldest - Isabelle

Isabelle is my eldest child. She just recently turned four. She is a great kid. Of course we are all biased toward our children, but I am pretty smitten with her. She is my only girl. When I first was pregnant, I was very much hoping for a girl. It was the the frilly dresses, the ballet classes, and the ponytails with hair bows that I was hoping for. I feel like I have gotten all that I was hoping for plus a little more. She likes to have her braided or in a ponytail with the pretty bows that her Aunt Stephie makes for her. She also occasionally likes to play with dolls. However, most of the time she likes to play on the computer or with her Leapster or likes to play with trains, cars, and dinosaurs (her brother's favorite toys). She loves to watch movies like Cinderella and Sleeping Beauty, but right now her favorite is Cars. So I guess she is well rounded. She has just now gotten to the point that she likes to wear dresses, so of course I went a little overboard and made sure that she had cute dresses to wear. I didn't really take into consideration that it would not be practical for her to wear a dress everyday, but maybe she will be able to wear all of them at least a few times throughout the summer. I just checked into a dance class for her as well so that might be a possibility too. When I sit down and lay it all out like this I am reminded how lucky I am to have my little girl. She is a lot like me though and not really a prissy girl or a little diva. If she gets dirty, its OK. If she wants to be comfortable she will let me know that she wants the comfy shorts, but with a matching shirt. If she falls down, she can usually just brush it off. She likes to have have her fingernails painted, but can't resist biting them (bad habit that needs to be broken) and taking off the nail polish. In my eyes she if perfect. Although I would really like to eliminate all of the whining. I can deal with that though.


Isabelle is about to start a new exciting time. She is going to be starting preschool soon. She has been in an in-home setting since she was about nine months. She has been with her siblings and three other children over the course of the past few years. I definitely think she is ready for the learning aspect of preschool. She seems to catch on to things very quickly and can do simple math such as 2+2. She does pretty well with phonics and can recognize all numbers and letters. So I don't really worry about that part. Its the social interaction that I worry about. I don't think she will have any issues here either, but it is change. It probably won't bother her, but I don't like change. I worry that she will miss being with her brothers and the other kids that she has been with daily for the past few years. I fear that she will miss seeing the lady who takes care of her now. And of course as all parents do I fear that she will have trouble making friends or making friends with the bad group (if that is possible at age four - in my mind it might be, those who bite, hit, aren't polite, or say bad things about other children). I know that all will be well and I think that even at this point she has a strong enough sense of herself to not let others influence her in a negative way, but I also know that she is just four. My goodness, what am I going to be like when she actually starts school? This is one of the things that while I am still finding somewhat difficult because I don't like change and find it hard to fathom that my little girl is growing up, I think would be more difficult if I wasn't working. I am used to idea of being separated from my child during the day. I have been since she was about 8 weeks old. If I were home, I would be worried about her missing me and leaving the security of my house. I dealt with all of these fears when she was just a baby. I would feel awful on those days that she might cry, but she was a baby and would be happy seconds later. She was learning that I would come back and really had no sense of time. She slept more than half of the time that I was away from her. Now she can tell me when she is happy or sad and I know that she has a good time away from me. If she were just know learning what it is like to be away from me and could tell me that she was upset about that, I would be very upset as well.

Its Monday

What I would love to see on Monday morning:


Wouldn't it be nice to wake up on Monday morning and have your clothes for the week pressed and hanging in your closet with matching socks, accessories, and shoes. In addition, you have all three children's clothes separated and put in a hanging organizer with a little cubby for each day of the week. There you find their clothes socks, shoes, matching hair bows for the oldest, an extra outfit or two for the youngest and a special toy that they picked out to take to the babysitters for the day. They wake up with a smile on their face and are excited about the day ahead of them, eager to see their caretaker and their friends.


What actually happens:

On Sunday night I am trying to wash the one thing that the oldest has decided she wants to wear the next day, trying to find clothes for myself and having a hard time remembering what I wore just last week, and dealing with the oldest getting up multiple times with differing aches or trips to the bathroom. I get up on Monday morning on a good note. The baby is happy in the morning. Last night was his first night in his own room. I had put off moving him, but he is definitely too heavy for the bassinet beside our bed. All is peaceful as he nurses and I catch up on the news. Then the mayhem begins. Isabelle (the oldest) and Charlie (the lovely middle child) don't want to get out of bed. Luckily this morning Chad (the wonderful husband) has gotten up early to get them dressed. He is able to grab the clothes out of the dryer that I had washed (and he dried) the night before, find socks that match and get them both downstairs. We find two shoes for each child, he gets their drinks and I work on fixing Isabelle's hair which she cries that it hurts and asks very politely if I could be more gentle. I am trying, but I am also watching the clock. Still have to get the milk for diaper bag, get stuff for lunch and get myself dressed. We get out the door by 7:20 with only a few problems. Isabelle decides last minute that she needs her leapster and Charlie thinks that he needs a jacket to go outside. It is a cool morning but he has on long sleeves and he hasn't even been outside to know that it is cool. Luckily the leapster is already in the diaper bag and Charlie gets out the door and is not cold. Away for the day.


Now I am here at work with a break thinking about how to turn the ideal scenario into reality or at least meeting it in part. I know that I can prevent most of the problems. Organization is the key. Time is the enemy though. I love working - seeing people everyday, helping people see everyday and getting the interaction with adults and colleagues that I would miss at home. However, given that I am at work or commuting to and from work from around 7:15 to 5:30 or 6:00 every day, when I am at home I have a hard time devoting my time to getting things done. I get home, try to get some feedback from Isabelle and Charlie on the daily activities at the sitter's house, feed baby Henry and then try to at least get things going for dinner. Chad usually comes in about 6:00 and will either take Henry or will help finish dinner while I feed Henry. By the time dinner is over it almost 7:00 and we try to get some quality time with the kids before the big kids (Isabelle and Charlie) are in need of a bath and off to bed around 8:00. It is usually 8:30 or 9:00 before they are settled in and then I get Henry fed again and down to sleep by 9:30 or 10:00. This still leaves the dishes to be done (Chad usually takes care of that), clothes to be picked out for the next day etc before the whole routine starts again. My point here is that I feel like I never have the time to get organized or be prepared. Of course there is the weekend and that is the time that I am able to get some things accomplished, but this is my time to have fun with the children as well. Now I am aware that I shouldn't devote 100% of my time to just fun time with the kids while at home, but I find that it is very difficult to carry out all of the things needing to be done that I was unable to over the course of the week. Organization and time management I believe are the key, but I have yet to work those things out. First things first I need time to get things organized room by room. The kids closets need to be done and the laundry needs to be caught up. I have this belief that if I could ever get it all put away and in a specific place that I could manage to make a schedule and keep up with it to maintain the organization. Is that the case? Could I keep it all together while working and taking care of three children? Am I just deluding myself to think that I will ever dig myself out of this hole? I don't know. I just need time to try to get it started and I think that is the hardest step.