What to expect

When Isabelle was a baby, the only thing I had to look to for guidance were books, magazines and maybe some advice (some unwanted) from friends or family. When Charlie came along I sort of felt like I knew what to expect thinking that he would follow the same sort of timeline as far as development as she did. Of course he did not. Now that Henry is here as far as the baby stages I feel like I know what to expect, but have learned not to expect it to happen at some magical age such as when Isabelle did things or for him to do things in the same manner that Charlie did. I know that he will develop on his own schedule and he seems to be doing really well.

My problem now is again with the older kids. Do I expect too much of them? Occasionally Charlie with throw a major tantrum or not pay attention, or act purely silly and I find myself getting upset. Shouldn't he be able to sit and pay attention when asked too? How can he really become so upset over something so little? Then I remind myself that he is only two. I guess part of this is being the middle child. He is a little closer in age to Isabelle than Henry but only by a few months. The big difference now is that he is much closer developmentally to Isabelle. Often I think I expect the same of him as I do Isabelle. I don't really know what realistic expectations are for her either. This morning as we were trying to get everything ready to head out the door for work, Henry was crying. He needed some attention and possibly a pacifier. I asked Isabelle to talk to him and get his pacifier for him. She was distracted by the television and completely ignored me and Henry crying. She got in trouble for not listening and left crying as well. Is this in line with what I should expect from her, or am I asking too much?